Fostering a parent and child

Fru Bird, age 53, is a dedicated foster carer from Ferndown, who has been making a significant impact in the lives of parents and children for the past five years. Fru is an approved foster carer for Dorset Council, who specialises in parent and child fostering, welcoming parents and their children into her family home.  

What is Parent and Child Fostering? 

Parent and child fostering involves providing a safe and nurturing environment for both a parent and their child. This provides parents with the opportunity to develop their skills to parent with confidence.  

The aim of the foster carer is to build rapport and trust with the parent, support them, and help them build confidence in their parenting abilities. Fru explains, ‘We are not the primary attachment figure for the child but help to create a bond between the parent and their child. You’re helping the parent to parent and offering lots of care and nurture to them at a time when they need support.” 

How Does It Work? 

During parent and child fostering both the parent and child come to live with the foster family. This can include mums or dads, or both parents together. The children can range from newborns and toddlers to sibling groups. 

Fru's role extends beyond the relationship with the parent and child. She records daily observations and provides evidence for court assessments, ensuring that the parent's progress is accurately documented, whilst giving the parent the opportunity to input.  

“It's about helping the parent understand that 'fighting for their child' often means managing the mundane tasks of parenting, like sterilising bottles and maintaining a safe environment," she says. “Fighting for your child isn’t always glorious, it’s often the ordinary tasks that come with being a parent. That’s where the heroism lies.” 

The Challenges and Rewards 

Parent and Child fostering comes with its challenges, including establishing trust with the parent when they arrive with you. Fru explains, "It can be a stressful time for the parent. They can feel under a lot of pressure and may have mental health challenges. You are there to support them with this.” 

However, the rewards of parent and child fostering can be immense. Fru highlights the joy of seeing parents wanting to learn, wanting to do better, then successfully going home with their child.  

"Those success stories are what we all want," she says. Even when parents recognise that they are not ready to raise their child, Fru sees this as a positive outcome, as it shows their understanding of their child's needs. 

Being a Family That Fosters 

Fru made the move into parent and child fostering when her own child was two years old, feeling it was a valuable opportunity to share with others. 

“We realised that as a family we had all this valuable experience and if we can share that with a parent that is vulnerable, or potentially going to have their child removed from their care, then we would really like to do that and give them the best opportunity to stay together.” 

Fru's family plays an integral role in the fostering process. "We are a family that fosters, and that's part of our identity," she explains. Her children understand the role they play and the support their family offers someone at a time when they might be struggling, and Fru encourages them to take pride in that. 

Staying in touch with families after they leave is another aspect of Fru's commitment. Many families see her as extended family and reach out for advice and support. "It's about building lasting relationships and providing ongoing support when needed," she says. 

Advice for Aspiring Foster Carers 

For those considering becoming parent and child foster carers, Fru says, “it's important to be kind, hopeful and encouraging and to have lots of empathy. You need patience and an open mind, and it's a great idea to speak to experienced foster carers and find out more about their experiences before making the decision.” 

Could you foster with Dorset Council?

Dorset Council needs more foster carers, including parent and child foster carers. Fostering can be incredibly rewarding and we welcome applications from people from all walks of life. Your gender, sexual orientation or relationship, employment or homeowner status does not affect your eligibility. The important thing is that you want to make a difference.  

When you foster with Dorset Council you will have an entire team around you for support, as well as access to Dorset’s experienced fostering community. You will also receive regular training and weekly payments. 

Visit the Foster with Dorset Council website to learn more.